3.5 We ranked every kind of pizza shop.. and talk about Firstdraft too

Transcript

Alright, what do you think of my new t-shirt? It’s not your best. You want to describe it for the audience?

Matt’s wearing a white t-shirt with a cuddly teddy, like a brown, like a sugary golden brown bear, holding a pink rose and has a light pink ribbon and a pink butterfly and is sitting in a nest of blue and pink flowers.

And it’s signed by Joseph Missy. Joan Mary. Yeah, like it’s okay. I think it’s got a nice thick collar, but it’s a little bit small, which we agreed. I was a bit disappointed when I saw it. I like flopped them both out of my bed and I was like, hmm.

That one’s too big and this one’s too small. It’s a tough game. It’s a tough game. I got these fucking from overseas, you know? From the US, right? From the USA. From find a BK. From find a BK. Now we’re friends, dude. We’ve been chatting. Because he’s like, he’s like, fuck, I’m so sorry. And I’m like, oh, I’m sorry that you have to do this. And he’s like, I’m going to go back tomorrow. And he sends me a picture of like the UPS shop and he’s like, it’s closed.

And I’m like, try again tomorrow, bro. I was like, why? It’s like, I saw in your Instagram message, you’re like, yeah, fuck that. I’m like, why? He’s like swearing with your t-shirt guy. Yeah, yeah. It got to the stage where we were like swearing about stuff now. He’s like, I fucking, I lost like $500 worth of merch like recently. And I was like, yeah, fuck that. Fuck that, bro.

I’m like on his side, you know? Yeah, you got to be on his side. I walked into your house today after my beautiful bike ride. You had fucking bunch of treats and snacks. So many snacks and treats. From the government. Should I tell that story too? Yeah. Okay. Tell us what you bought with your cold voucher. Okay. So I got like a, it’s called like a support act grant, which was like anyone who could prove

that they were a professional musician at some point in the last, you know, three or four years or whatever impacted by COVID got like a nice bit of money in the lockdowns like last year. Um, and it was cool. It helped me buy like a really nice piece of equipment, a synthesizer that I’ve been using a lot, but I saw on Instagram, someone else that got it was like, Hey, there’s like a Christmas

present in your emails. Go and look. And I look and it’s like a $75 Kohl’s voucher. And, um, I remembered on the way up in the lift today from going to do get like my veggies for dinner and stuff tonight. And I was like, Oh fuck, I’ve got $75 just sitting on my phone for, for Kohl’s. And I’m like about to pass it.

So I hit the level one button and I go out and I’m like, cool, I’m going to go and get myself like something nice from Kohl’s, you know, like maybe they have a big pot. So I go and I’m like, there’s a toothbrush for $75. It’s like one of those sexy, like, you know, electric ones. I’m like, cool, maybe I could do that. Or I can just like pig out and just buy whatever, like whatever comes to my mind as I pass the

shelf. And I fucking, I was like, fuck it. I don’t need a toothbrush. So I got the $1, like new toothbrush. And then I was like, cool. Okay. What do we got here? And I like bought two bars of chocolate, which was like really funny to me for some reason. And then I like went past the pickles and they were on special and I was like, fuck it, get two jars. And it started making me like crack up.

I don’t know what about it, but I felt like a child. I had like, you know, mommy’s $100 bill or something. And I had to start looking at my phone because I was like laughing out loud in the store and I didn’t want to just be laughing about nothing. So I started looking at my phone as if someone was sending me funny messages. People were like, what the fuck is this guy laughing about?

I got like Tupperware. I got some nice French cheese. I got like brownie mix and shit. It was really fun. It was so much fun. It’s funny now, like as an adult, like when you go to the shop, like every like one in four trips, I’ll do a little bit of that. I, when I realized that I don’t have to like just buy like good shit or I don’t have to

like, it doesn’t have to be boring. Yeah. But it still feels like maybe that’s a good sign that it feels exciting when I’m like, Oh, I could just like buy a block of chocolate. Like, whoa. Exactly. And I could just have it. Yeah, totally. Yeah. We’re allowed to eat like cake for dinner if we want to. Yeah. But we don’t. There’s this like on, on the way between Ashfield to Stanmore, like you go past Lewisham station

and you know, those like little like paths. There’s like a little path that right next to the school and you wouldn’t even know it But the map took me there and it’s like, you have to like oncoming pedestrians. You have to like go single file. But I love those little like hidden nooks and passageways. Is it like by the railway? It’s like literally right next to the Lewisham station.

Yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, I was thinking like, for some reason I walked past this family, like dad in like, what’s that like khaki like shorts and shirt. It’s like a. Hmm. Father wear. Yeah. But it was like more techie than that. It was like bushcraft shit.

Oh yeah. Cool. And he had a couple of dogs with him and like his mom and then a little kid, little seven year old boy wearing like those hippie elephant pants. She was like, I don’t know, unusual. Yeah. They’re like a bush family. They’re like, they’re camping and shit. Yeah. Okay. They’re probably from like the mountains or something. Yeah.

And then for some reason I saw one of the like teen brother, the like older one, maybe he had like an earring. He looked kind of cool. And something about like the way they just were as a family on the street as I was cycling past, like they seemed really carefree. Hmm. And it like something ticked over in my head. I was like, damn, like we’re really starting to like settle into a post COVID groove. Yeah. Like something just about seeing the way they were like a little bit of weight was lifted

and plus the sun as well. So yeah, I thought, I thought we could talk a little bit about like our top post COVID vibes. Yeah. Absolutely. Ish. Yeah. At least it feels that way right now. But like, what shit have we been able to do in the last month? Like I still keep like recognizing like we had like a party on the weekend. Yeah. Like we were talking about afterwards.

It was like, yeah, it was probably like for some people, like the first time they’d been in someone’s house, like a new person’s house. Yeah. Like 10 or so people. Yeah. And like not had to worry. Like, we didn’t even have to mention it. Yeah. Which was true. It didn’t even come up. It didn’t even come up once. Yeah. Which was so cool. So yeah. Have you got anything handy? Okay.

So, um, the first one was definitely like crossing the road to go into prop gallery. Um, like we’re all very excited to go and see a show like that, you know, it was, um, bustling with people. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was their first ever show. Right. Okay. And, um, yeah, it was like the exhibition opening and yeah, it was like pumping. It was so much fun. And, and yeah, just like walking right up to this like throng of people and like knowing a couple of people in the crowd, like, wow, what a cool feeling, you know, no masks, just people enjoying themselves.

And yeah, it was cool. It was like a nice compact space. So there was time to see, like there was, you know, you didn’t have to spend a whole hour trying to see everything. You like can go and take it in and then chat. And yeah, it was just such a fucking lovely vibe. And then, um, Mardi Gras felt really good too. The next night was just like a blast. Like some friends were in town from Melbourne and like Newcastle and, um,

Newcastle and yeah, we just all like, we’re really gassing each other up and having like a lovely time at the Red Rattler. So a bunch of music and, um, yeah, it was beautiful. It was fucking so cool. Everyone was just like, so at ease. It was very chilled and lovely. You know, we, I, we all wanted to go and dance and we kind of missed our opportunity. Cause by the time the bands finished, it was like, all right, where are the kick ons

at? Like people weren’t really thinking of the clubs, but anyway, it was fucking beautiful and I loved it. Good. I had this like thing wash over me of like, damn, like, yes, of course, like humans were so adaptable. Like we’ll just fucking keep moving. Like we were literally like from one week to the next, like no matter what happens, like

we’re just like, okay, okay, okay. I accept this. Totally. Like whatever, like psychological shit is happening in the background. Yeah. Like you just kind of like deal with that almost subconsciously. Yeah. But this way of like, fuck, like we’re peering out of something like extremely significant and like the like subtle or not so subtle, like bodily and psychological ramifications

of the last two years. Like I just had this moment like in bed, like I was like, damn, like, yeah. Yeah. It was like a big fucking deal. Cause it took so long to unfold it. Like, I think people like have forgotten how much of a big fucking deal it was. Like it takes so, it took so long to ramp up and so long to come down from it.

And look, I don’t know if that’s the end of it, but like, you know, whatever we’re, we’re acting like it is. Or it feels like we’re going to have at least a little while. Yeah. Like for example, comparing it to like this war in Ukraine right now, like it just happened. Like it’s just on, you know? I mean, if you were really like hip to the geopolitics, you probably could have seen it

coming or whatever, but you know, that’s like, it is also a very defining moment of our generation, probably already. Like people talked about 9-11 and shit. Like, um, but yeah, I think people were like, like not maybe feel, people maybe didn’t feel like they could give themselves a pat on the back to be like, cool. Like I did the fucking worst part of COVID and like, it’s kind of in the rear view mirror

now. And like, thank God, you know, like, I think like at the moment, like that is, is a, is a huge story that’s just like tapering off. And we’re only like, yeah, it’s kind of like the opposite of the frog in the boiling water. Right. Like we didn’t even realize that the pool was nice to swim in again. Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. Yeah.

And it’s cool. It’s good in a way because it’s like people are making jokes about, Oh, you won’t know how to like talk to your fucking friends, housemates anymore. You won’t know how to like go to a party, but it doesn’t seem like, or go to a gig. It doesn’t seem like anyone’s forgot. Like it’s super natural. Yeah. Like super chill. Yeah. It’s like riding a bike. Huh? Yeah.

I actually have something on that Ukraine. And I don’t think, I think this is going to be a surprise to you, Adrian, because I haven’t prepped you for this. But it’s kind of a cool like intersection of these two, like very different worlds. Like, so in Lviv, which is one of the big cities, it’s where people are being evacuated to like internally in the country. So it’s still in Ukraine.

Um, and people at one of the biggest like centers for housing people and like sorting out where to go and the humanitarian stuff is an, is the art center in Lviv, like a big, it’s like going to the MCA to do it. Isn’t that interesting? So it’s like, um, I was just kind of thinking like, what are the, like, is the art still

up? Like, what are the implications of that? Like, you know, we’re all, we’re always like crying about big art institutions, but then it’s like, those are good, big building. That’s like, you know, hard to miss. And like, you know, it’s good, good for putting signs on and like, yeah. It’s like weird rooms to house you in. Yeah. We’ll stick you in the fucking horror, the 13th century black period room.

Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting. Yeah. I like it. I mean, like, of course, like it makes so much sense that like these things are just buildings at the end of the day. I was thinking that this segment would be like, we’re raiding pizza from shops.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I can do that. Like, you know, shop pizzas. Yeah. But you can also have a home pizza. Yeah. It has to be a category of home pizza. Okay. Yeah. You can’t just be like, I fucking did this recipe. We’re not talking about recipes. Yeah. We’re not talking about recipes, but there are obviously like genres of home pizza. Like genres of home pizza. Okay. People will make for you.

So let’s do our thing and let’s make it Sydney. Like where is the worst pizza that you can remember ever having? We’re going from worst to best, right? The F tier. Probably the worst pizza. And I think everyone agrees is kebab shop pizza. Okay. Manoush is a fucking. Manoush is not a kebab shop.

Manoush is a pizza shop. Manoush Pizzeria. Yeah. But they sell kebabs. It’s primarily known for their pizza. Okay. I don’t think they sell kebabs. They do sell kebabs. I’ve had a kebab from them. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, Manoush is a pizza shop. Yeah. Fair enough. So can we agree that. Okay. Kebab pizza.

Proper kebab shop. Okay. To be honest. Their main thing is kebabs. And then they have like a weird pizza that sits there all day. That’s like warmed up. I might go for one of those over the kind of place where it’s like, there’s, there seem to be everywhere for some reason. And I don’t know how they’re still in business, but it’s like one old Italian guy in a darkened

restaurant with like one chair and one, you know, two chairs at a table. And he’s like, somehow they’re like one night a week, you know, and they have like a crappy neon sign in the window. Like there’s heaps. There’s like Alberto’s. There’s one here. Glenn lives above one. Torino pizza. Alberto’s actually looks kind of good. I’ve never been there, but I almost went in. It’s not that good.

Actually looks kind of good. Okay. Well, anyway, I had a fucked up kebab pizza. It had like Donner meat on it. Like the end of the day Donner meat. Cool. And it just tastes funky. Like the meat on those pizzas are funky and they’re so big and cheesy. It’s just fucked. Yeah. I think that’s the bottom. Okay. Let’s say that’s the bottom. Okay.

Cool. Then what comes right after that? I mean, Epic pizza is fucking awful too. I’ve never had Epic pizza, but you know, Detroit pizza. You know, Detroit pizza by the slice. By the slice. Yeah. That’s pretty bad as well. Yep. Okay. I’m going to guess that that’s as shit as Epic pizza. Yeah. Oh yeah. Totally. It must be.

It must be. It must be. Yeah. I would rather have Detroit than Epic though. Are they in different tiers though? Or are they just, is that like. They’re in the same tier. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And then I think, now this is a tricky one. Now we have Domino’s and Pizza Hut. I think they’re on a tier. Mm-hmm. And.

Which would you rather? You can say Domino’s. Bro, I don’t think I’ve had Pizza Hut like, since I was a kid. So I don’t even know. I think you would rather Domino’s. Domino’s is like decent shit. Like sometimes Domino’s is decent. Sometimes it works. We had Domino’s when we got COVID. Remember? I had a delivery today where I rocked up at the same time as the guy’s Domino driver rocked up.

It was so funny. Yeah. He was like, cool. I’ll take the pizza. I’ll take the meat. You get like a pizza for like four bucks at Domino’s these days. It’s crazy. If you walk to the place. Yeah. It’s really cheap. And then. Just don’t get it delivered. Then I’m going to say the next tier up is crust. And now we’re also potentially getting into homemade pizzas.

Oh yeah. True. Yeah. True. This is crust. Okay. You’re doing good. Yeah. That’s, that’s good. That’s the next tier, right? If you can make a crust pizza in your house, you’re like, fuck yeah. You know what’s fucked about crust? You’re putting that on your Instagram for sure. You know what’s fucked about crust? Tell me. And this is why they’re in like, cause so far we’ve talked about pizzas that aren’t really

pizza. Yeah. We’ve talked about like, these are all bad pizzas. True. They’re like, yeah. Including crust is a bad pizza in my opinion. Absolutely. And the reason it’s fucked is the base. I used to like it though. The base is fucked. What’s, I haven’t had it in like 10 years. It’s really weird. I had one like last week and it’s like, when you look at it on like side profile, it looks

like bread from like, yeah, like Coles or something like from the Coles bakery where it’s been like kneaded by a machine. Yeah. It’s like the same. Yeah. It’s like crappy garlic bread or something. It’s really gummy on the base. Yeah. It’s been overdeveloped gluten. And then the crust isn’t really a crust. It’s like a crunchy cracker.

Uh huh. They don’t even make a crust. Really? So it’s not like crusty on the outside and soft on the inside of that outer. A tiny bit, a tiny bit, but it’s mostly like crunchy cracker. Maybe you’re a crust kitchen. Which crust did you get to? Bro, I’ve had crust. I usually get it from Croydon. All right. Croydon crust. We’re fucking coming for you. I reckon maybe we have rocket boy.

Is that on the same tier or? Uh, rocket boys, rocket boys. Well, I’ll defend them here. I’ll go into bat for them here. The rocket boy, Newtown brunch. And I have an understanding that every month on, well, this was when I was living in Newtown. I’m going to order a fucking large pepperoni and eat it to myself while like smoking weed

and playing video games. You know, this was during the lockdown. I did a lot of that. Pretty good. It was always like hot and like really fucking quick. And it was like, yep, this is a pizza. Like it was like better than I could do at home. Again, the base. There’s no, it wasn’t better than I could do at home. It was just like better than I could do at home without much planning.

But the base is still like crunchy cracker for some reason. The base was definitely a crunchy cracker. Yep. Okay. And then you get into real pizza. Rocket boy were like, rocket boy totally capitalized on the like pendulum swing away from the pizza hut stuffed crust shit. Right. They’re like, we’re the modern new pizza shop. That’s not pizza hut. I don’t really know where I sit between crust and rocket boy.

I think I like have to go crust is better than rocket boy because then you start factoring in the price. Whoa. I don’t think rocket boys worth the extra 10 bucks. True. It’s a very expensive pizza. Hey. For what it is. Yeah. I don’t think it’s worth an extra 10 bucks. Sometimes I’m like, you guys overcook this one. And I don’t like the branding.

Yeah. You don’t like the branding. No. It’s really ugly. It’s invisible to me now. It’s mad ugly. Okay. Let’s go up a tier. What tier are we on now? Now we have real pizzas. We’re on the, the, the C tier, the B tier. I think we’re on like one from the top. Whoa. Already. No way. That was too quick. We can’t go from any more.

We can’t go from, well, hang on. Let’s well, okay. So there’s one more. I’ve got another one. These pizzas. It’s funny because you actually don’t see them on the outside of the building. They’re like, oh, and our pub has a fucking fire oven and we do like pretty good pizzas. Like, yes, they’re kind of expensive, but they’re getting good ingredients.

The chef’s fucking there tossing the dough, you know, like the fucking, doesn’t the public house in Petersham do like, they do okay pizzas. Apparently I’ve never had one. I’m never getting one again, but the pizzas are okay. Better than Rocket Boy. They’re better than Rocket Boy. Okay. Yeah. I’ll give you the pub pizza as a tier. So it’s like pub pizza. And then like other things, it’s like, it’s a restaurant and like, yeah, we do, we do. Like a good pub.

Like it’s a nice pub. Yeah. It’s like a nice pub. Cause I reckon some pubs pizzas are worse than Rocket Boy. Some pubs would be right at the bottom. There’s, there may even be depths below the F tier where we started that we don’t even know about yet. True, true, true. Or that our brains have repressed. I did a big tour through fucking rural thing for the Jimmy Barnes job that I had. I definitely ate some crappy pizza that my brain is like made me forget about.

Okay. So there’s the pub pizza. That’s the C tier. Now we’re talking about B tier. B tier. I want to say is that place that you go to in Newtown that you like. And like, I know it’s must be decent. Which place? It’s like, it’s fucked up place with a really ugly mural, like halfway down King street. And I think that was like.

Oh, Rosso Antico. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a mom and like a kid. It’s like a house is floating away or something. Someone’s flying. Yeah. That fucking, that guys, that’s not art. Yeah. Sorry. I hate to break it to you, but that does not count as art.

I have a very broad definition. I will call anyone an artist, but whatever that is. It’s like, I met like a number of muralists lately. So it’s hard to talk about shit. To know if I can get away with that one. No, you can get away with it, but. It’s funny. I’m kidding. This is a. Three degrees of separation away from the person who painted it.

Maybe, maybe I already know them. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So. What else is that? Like. I was going to put that. Okay. Fuck. Where are we going at the top? It’s mountaineating. Don’t you think Gigi’s and. Oh yeah. Those. So yeah, those guys are pretty close together. Very good. They actually both are going for the same thing.

And like, here’s a little funny. Just. So we’re getting into the, the territory now where. It’s like, but what type of pizza? Because. Both of those places do Napoli pizza. Pizza di Napoli. And like. Gigi actually had one of the. Like the, the ancient man from the fucking pizza guild to come out and like anoint their

wood fire oven. So they’ve got. So they’ve got. They got, they got the fucking certificate five in actual pizza, which is cool. Um, but then this is where like the arguments really come in. It’s like, what type of dough is it? Is it sourdough or is it a yeast? Is it Naples style or is it Roman style or like some other fucking. It’s just Naples style is going to be the best for me any day.

I mean, yeah, me too, but yeah. So, okay. That’s B tier. Yeah. Now we’re talking about A tier. Yeah. Like best pizza in Sydney. Best pizza in Sydney that you could, that you know about. Yeah. But like, it doesn’t get that much better because the best pizza is like the simplest pizza as well.

Okay. So it’s not like. Tell me what it is. Well, I don’t even fucking know the name of this place, but there’s two. Okay. So I reckon now we’re getting to like pizza madre. Oh yeah. I haven’t actually eaten there yet. Pizza madre is really good. Run by the same kitchen as two chaps. I think. Oh, cool. Yeah. That makes sense. Right by where we used to live.

Yeah. Like vego shit, like super cool, like local ingredients. They don’t do meat? No, no meat. Cool. I think two chaps are the same as just vegetarian. That’s right. Full produce lead. Yeah. But I actually think they get a bit too complex with their shit. That’s the classic feeling of pizza and vegan and vego shops in general.

Can I just do my little sidebar mini rant right now? Go on. It’s like, yeah, we’re a vegan restaurant. And then, and then they fucking make everything like try to taste like meat. They bend over backwards to like make it look like and taste like meat. It’s like, okay, whatever. I thought we were off that shit anyway. And then like all the vegetables are hidden in things and like rolled in things.

And like, there’s all these like weird, like twists and turns we take away from vegetables, which we’re supposed to be into as vegans. I’m not a vegan and I never have been. And I don’t know if I ever will be, but that pisses me off. I would totally go and eat at all these places. If I mean, some of them, if one of them did like, this is just the best roast broccoli that we can do.

It’s like, I mean, Marjorie does do that. It’s like roast asparagus with fucking lemon and salt. And like, you’re going to love it. It’s really, we found it like, yeah, we got it yesterday from the farm, you know, like that’s sick to me. Like that’s cool food, you know? Of course. And that is their like go-to. Okay, cool. Well, good on you, Marjorie. Sometimes there’s like too many vegetables on the pizza.

This is the classic like home cook fuck up. It’s like your oven’s only so strong and then you layer on like all these strange ingredients. You’re like, I have carrots. You look at a carrot in the fridge. You’re like, fuck, these are so healthy. I’m going to get so healthy and I’m going to have my naughty pizza, but I’m going to do it in a healthy way. And then you’ve got shredded carrot on, you’ve got fried egg or something on there. You’ve got like eggplant and shit.

Like none of it is ever going to cook in your tiny little oven. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it works. It’s like Australian pizza too. Yeah. It’s a stacked. Air quotes, Australian pizza, whatever the fuck that means. Australian pizza is like, it’s like a pizza bake. Yeah, totally. Yeah. It’s like a little, yeah. It’s like a pie. Yeah.

It’s like a pie. I think, and then the best pizza, like, I don’t know. Okay, wait, drum roll. Wait, do a, Matt, in the editing, do a fucking. I don’t know. I don’t know. I think the best pizza is in Haberfield at this restaurant called La Desfida. This is the S tier now. That’s just my, that’s my take. All right.

Well, I haven’t even been to this place. It’s just a simple Napoli style pizza. You get a margarita, maybe a margarita with prosciutto. Yep. That’s it. That looks cool. 10 minutes. Like, as if you’re in fucking Italy. Yep. So simple. Yep. It’s like 25 bucks. Yep. Fucking all about the base sauce and cheese. Fucking eat it.

You walk away. Yep. We might be, it sounds almost like an appeal to authority, like a fallacy or like, we’re doing like really obvious, like middle of the road takes about this. But yeah, like the Italians invented it and they really figured out how to do it the best. And when you go to Naples, like most of the places they’re like, do you want the red one

or the one with red and cheese? Like literally they’re like, do you want a marinara or do you want a fucking margarita? Like sit down and take a ticket. Literally when we went there, it was like, take a ticket. And they were like, number 20, number 21. They were saying this in Italian, number 22. And we look at the ticket and it’s like number 86. And we’re like, okay, we’re going to go get a beer.

But yeah, it was, you know, they limit your choices because they know they’ve, they’ve already figured it out. They’ve had 400 years of something to figure this out. The Australian predilection towards fucking heaping those pizzas on. I made pizzas for like a family camping trip. And there’s like 20 of us. And I like brought like nice. As soon as Aiden started telling me this story, I knew exactly what was going to happen.

I bought like beautiful buffalo mozzarella and I brought, and it’s weird because my family’s like into cooking, like my extended family. And I brought like, yeah, I made the dough and I brought like, just like San Marzano tomatoes and some anchovies. And I’m like, this is the pizza. And then everyone was like, well, I brought fucking Cabanossi and I brought barbecue sauce.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Describe how thick the Cabanossi was. The Cabanossi was like an inch. The Cabanossi was like little Cabanossi towers. Cubes. No, like rounds, but like of the Cabanossi, it was only chopped like four times. And then everyone was like drunk. And it was like, and wait, wait, listener.

Wait till you hear the fate of these pizzas. It was like the ultimate, like fucking, yeah. What is it? It’s like punishment by greed. By the end of the day, when we’re trying to get them like on the peel and into the fucking oven, because they were so heavy. No one’s pizzas were like coming out clean. Like they weren’t cooking.

And I was like, just crumbling. And it was like 10 o’clock dark. Yeah. So fuck it. Like, I don’t give a shit about like tradition. I don’t give a shit about Italy. Like I haven’t even been there, like almost on purpose. It’s true. I don’t give a fuck about your stupid pizza rules. Okay. But for real, real talk, like that type of pizza, like a margarita even, or a marinara even, without the cheese.

And like, when it comes out quick and hot, and you just fucking eat it like no fuss. Like it’s not even a whole sit down meal. Yeah. That just felt like really like what the essence of it is meant to be. And that’s like also what’s happening in like New York pizza. I was just about it. When you were saying that, the like, mutant ninja turtle pizza like came to my brain.

And that is its kind of its own school of thought. Like amongst those like, cause like they can totally do those like S tier top super special tier pizzas too. Right. But I don’t think we’ve had one of those. Like, have you had New York? Like a really good New York style pizza. No. Yeah, me neither. Hmm. New York awaits.

They keep it simple. They keep it simple. They keep it simple. Hey, whoa! We’re making pizza over here. Cool. So that’s the pizza report.

And now we’re going to move on to what shows have you been seeing recently? It was a, it was a lovely raining night as we’ve been having. Now in retrospect, it seems like, oh, isn’t that nice? It was all raining cute. But at the time we were like, fuck this. The fucking Bible is opening up. It was like the flood warning day in Sydney. It was one of the flood warning days.

Yeah. Um, and yeah, it was fucking sick. We bumped into an old high school friend of Aiden’s. Um, and they, uh, Dan, what’s Dan’s last name? Ward. Dan Ward. That’s a nice name. And, um, they read some poetry. They did like the show text, you know, and they read for the show.

So there was a bunch of us like squatting on the concrete floor. It was like, in this room. It was like one of the rooms. Right. Yeah. And one of like the most prominent artworks in this room. And I think they read like a couple, like a story and a poem. And then this like a crastic, like the poem that was about, um, this work. Yeah.

Which was quite cool. Do you still have the copy of that? They also printed out the poem. Yeah. Which was nice. Some old guy wanted me to fight that fight, wanted to fight me about that. That was funny. It was like, no one wants to pick up the, like, we’ll start from the beginning. So we walk in, well, let’s just describe the room. So like we walk in and there’s a sculpture at the end.

There’s a big photograph and then a big, like, um, I guess you could call it like a collage, but it was like in fabric or something. Um, it was like a fabric collage. Um, and on the floor, closer, closer to the door was like, um, yeah, this big sort of A3 sheet in blue. Oh yeah. And the whole room is like blue artworks, like blue sculpture, blue or black and white photo and blue, like textiles.

Very cool. We like the blue theme. Actually seems to be coming up a lot recently. Anyway, um, on the floor is like a blue page and it’s got a rock on it to like hold the papers from, uh, flying away in the breeze. It’s like the, the room notes or whatever, but this is what Dan had written. And then Aiden goes to get one. And then what happens?

This guy was all excited that I was like moving the rock. And then he like saw that it was his chance that he could get one. But of course no one took them one because they’re a bit too big to carry and they were going to get wet. But also because no one likes to disturb things in the gallery. Some part of you is like, can I touch that? Um, and this guy, like I’m kneeling and I look and there’s like an art dad, like leering down at me.

Yeah. He’s a father who art in heaven. But aged. Like looked like a rich Sydney guy with a golden scraggly hair. Aged art bro. Big ass. Aged art bro. And he was like, yo, give me one of those. And I already had two in my hand. So he gave me one. And then he was like, make sure you put the rock back. And I was like, bro, like I’m about to put the fucking rock back.

And I’m like. Don’t tell me what to do. Yeah. I was like, you’re not my real dad. You’re an art dad. You’re not my fucking dad. Okay. Dude. And I was like, what the fuck is your problem? Anyway, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but I didn’t like it. I saw. Yeah. Attitude. I saw this like funny, like overly smiley in exchange happening from across the room.

I was like, what is this? What is going on here? I thought, I thought the guy was trying to like make friends with you or something. Yeah. Maybe he was. Maybe I snapped too early. He was like, that’s, that’s a lovely rock. You put him in his rightful place. It’s chill. Yeah. And yeah. So we, we should say the exhibition, I don’t know, we should really do our homework, but the like artist, it’s like two artists and they’re like collective name is Ichikawa Edwards.

Cool. So, um, yeah, I think, uh, one is from Japan and one is local and I think they like work together creating that stuff. It was cool. It was really beautiful room. It was like three works, you know, plus the text, like so minimal. And it’s like kind of a triangular room too, which had this nice kind of resonance about

it. So why don’t we talk about the fucking, the sculpture that, that Dan spoke about as well. So the sculpture is, um, thinner than it is wide, if that makes sense. Like it’s, it’s quite thin and the thin end of it is presented to the doorway when you walk in. So you just kind of see essentially this, this line, but then when you approach it, it’s

got all these curves and curly cues on it. Um, so it kind of opens up and expands as you approach it, which we thought was really fun. And then the, the base of it is this kind of like, it reminded me of like beautiful sweeping, like 1950s car design. Like it’s kind of got that like polished aluminum, like almost like maybe airplane fuselage look.

And then the curls on top of it kind of like big ornate, like filigree or something, but no, it’s not ornate. It’s simple, right? Like it’s like almost like wind tunnel, simple, um, blue curves. Um, and yeah, it was just such a fun, like beautiful kind of springing object that was totally rigid, but also totally balanced.

And like, yeah, so playfully revealed like that. And yeah, it was given like kind of a lot of space, which was awesome. Like there was like a couple of meters before behind the back wall. That’s true. It has its own like big space. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was sick. And it really like, cause it was in, it was probably this smaller, it was a smaller room and it was just so nice. It was such a cool, I noticed like, so Dan performed this poem and it was just beautiful, like to inhabit

that space with that sculpture, hear the words and, you know, have 20 or so people kind of just like having their like vibe informed by the presence of this sculpture. Yeah. It’s really, um, and the words. Yeah. It was the first time we’d heard words in a room of people like that in so long, man. Like, yeah, that was a post COVID moment.

Actually that, that was a total highlight. True. Yeah. It’s a, yeah, it’s a really exciting way to like explore what a work can do in a room, you know, have it, have it function like that, like as, you know, part of a performance. Yeah.

I was hoping the poetry, oh yeah, it is. This was my favorite, like just the, like the first couple of lines from the, um, blue light poem that Dan wrote at the end. Only does old love in blue light exist. Blue is old red sometimes faded into life and around the ankles. And how beautiful is that prayer.

Cool. Cool. Do we get any audio we can drop in? Yeah. I’ll drop that audio in. Only does old love in blue light exist. Blue is old red sometimes faded into life and around the ankles. And how beautiful is that prayer as in hold my cigarettes or sing this song with a yeah,

hey, yeah. Mark a time to thank people for passing through. Mark a time to celebrate indeterminacy. I’m making a move. I’m always making a move. And in the blue light we cannot see our body, oh, we cannot see our veins. Uh, raining, it’s, uh, raining season. But we act as if we do.

We tilt forward in exceptions. I am pleasure. I’m tolerable. I’m strewn out. I am unoccupied. For the days where I can only feel what you wish was you. When you look at me with the artificial hand, the ghost, the old room’s body that we know

of each other sometimes. How I reenact your anxieties in my own head, around my own. And that’s how I know, although no love within us, but of course there is love in time. Meeting new people, it is around us. And when love is now invisible, it’s always invisible, gentle blue as the memory fibre

of old. But love is a pattern like skin, connecting to the hostile and sometimes invaluable sun over the trees and sharp, precise, hot plastic. Cool. Um, and then? And then we fucking rode off into the night. Yeah.

Gayly.

Yeah. Oh yeah, and Dan runs a poetry imprint called No More Poetry down in Melbourne, which we will add.

Cool. Should we do like a quick peeve and rec and then bounce? Yeah. We’ve never done peeves before. You want to do a peeve? Yeah. You got any peeves? Um… Fuck. Hmm… I got a peeve. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So my peeve is industrial noise, which just seems like it’s all around me at the moment,

which fucking sucks. But this guy had just like, I don’t know what he, what’s the tool you use? He was like, is it an angle grinder? He was just grinding. Like he was just cutting concrete. Fuck. Yeah. That’s a concrete saw. That’s one of the worst. Yeah. He was just… Yeah. And I look over and I can see him from my balcony. Yeah.

It’s just there. And it just like, it’s so, it’s almost artistic. It’s almost funny. Cause it just seems like… You shouldn’t be allowed to do that, right? No, it just seems ridiculous. It seems pointless. Yeah. Like he’s just like cutting concrete for hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We took all that time to get the concrete in there in the first place. And now we’re going to cut it back again. Yeah. I know.

It’s like I, there was some guys cutting concrete. They call it concrete sawing as well. Cause it’s literally like a big circular saw. And some of them, like a lot of them actually run off of petrol. So you have to also run a little car while you’re doing it the whole time. It’s like two of the worst noises. Oh. Yeah. Some guys were like cutting up a driveway on my little walk to work.

And it was like, like it was, it was only two days of it, but every time I walked past them, I was like, guys, like, can you just wait for me to walk past and then start up again? Please. It’s so funny. Yeah. That’s a good peeve, dude. That’s a really good peeve. Thank you. Um, my peeve. Here’s my peeve. My peeve is the like distinct, powerful and upsetting smell.

That’s a good thing. Smells that come from certain male deodorant brands. Yeah. Like, like all those ones, you know, that I’m, I’m talking about, like, it’s just like that, the smell of that, like puts all of the like male fragility, like toxic masculinity shit,

like right up into my fucking nose where like I have to deal with it. And I can’t, I can’t even walk away from it. Like someone somehow got one, a bit of it on the like seatbelt in one of the cars at work. And I was like, Oh my God, dude, like now I’ve got to drive around the whole fucking day smelling this. Like, it’s just like something about those smells really fucking peeved me off.

And like, don’t know what to do about it. There’s nothing. All I have to do is suffer in silence. One of my, my locker in high school one year was like right next to a kid who like sprayed a shitload of that stuff. Yeah. And people like thought it was me. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. That shit’s fucked.

I think those dudes like progress and then you’re like subtle on the deodorant, but let’s go big on like the fragrance. And that’s better. Yeah. Cause usually the fragrance is nicer cause they don’t have that like alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. It smells like cleaning products. There’s like all these fucked like components of that smell, like the link smell.

And then I saw someone had left a can of it in like the other van at work and it’s the name of the flavor was dark temptation. I was like, fuck yeah. It’s like an old fat white guy. Yeah. Yeah. But I was like, this guy is, has neither like of those adjectives like anywhere about him. Like, Oh man, he’s got such a dark temptation.

Like who’s saying that? Come on. Just like, all I can think of is like being in high school when those things it’s like, I’m like smoking weed in my room and there’s like an old school lunch in my backpack and like fucking suck with cum on it and it just stinks. And you’re like, you know what? Like this will fix it. Like, I mean, yeah, it was like being in the locker rooms after PE class or whatever.

And like every motherfucker is spraying there. There was only three or four flavors going at the time, but everyone was doing them at the same time. It was just like, Jesus. I can parlay this into my rec. Oh yeah. Cool. Deodorant cream. Oh, whoa. Okay. I’ve been on the deodorant cream for a while. Do you want to just do a quick sales pitch for it?

It’s just, I don’t know. I just like it. It feels like it’s the least invasive deodorant. It’s got like a little, it’s got a really nice like bottle. You like twist it and it like pushes the stick up. And on the top of the like application part, the bit goes on your armpits. I like a bunch of little holes. Oh, I see. So you know how like, you can like squeeze a Vita wheat together and the butter comes up

through the, that’s how the cream comes up through. And yeah, it just, I feel like it smells the best. I feel like it’s the least invasive. I feel like it does a good job. Cool. Good rec. Thank you. Um, my rec is, sorry to get fucking deep on your ass, but this is a book that you have given or not lent to me.

Um, fuck. Do I have to go and get his fucking name? No, I’ll Google it. Ilya Kaminsky. Ilya Kaminsky. And it is called Dancing in Odessa. And it’s such a cool collection of poems written in like what the nineties or two thousands or something. And, um, this guy was like a teacher in America, but he was born in Odessa, which is a city in

Ukraine. And it’s like such an amazing book. It like oscillates between kind of this like blank verse and poetry or like prose almost in poetry. Um, and yes, it’s got the most like imaginative imagery and like, it’s kind of got like lots of sexy lines too, which is nice. Like bangers and then like tough stuff, you know, which is, which is really exciting to

read. And like, it’s been a really nice like companion recently, you know, thinking about all these poor people in Ukraine. I’m a bit of a news junkie right now. So I’m like sort of empathizing with Ukrainian civilians. No, I’m really glad. I’m really glad that you had that book on the shelf at that time. It’s sick. I, there was this fucking, I can’t remember what it’s called, but it was like an op shop in the UK.

And I used to like, just, that would be like my little treat when I’d go to a certain part of the UK. And they, for some reason always had amazing poetry. Huh. Cool. Like you can find options with good books, but poetry. Yeah. It was in like North London. So like kind of a posh area. Um, yeah, it was sick. And yeah, I’m glad that that book, you know, I picked it up from there.

It was, it’s like second or however many lives. Yeah. Read it in the UK, brought it back here, lent it to you. And I haven’t read it that deeply, but I remember reading a few of the poems and being really moved by them. Mm. Yeah. So yeah. They’re beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we’ll read some after dinner. We’re having pizza for dinner. I don’t know if I said that.

I’m hungry, Matt. Make me a pizza. Okay. And Sydney scene focused. So, um, so now, you know, it might be, uh, yeah, it might be. And it might very well be. I think we have a movie review next week. Or is that this week? That’s this week. Stay tuned.

Our Instagram is hungup.au. My name is Matt. Goodbye. I’m Aiden. Goodbye. you

Show notes

This week we were supposed to talk about the opening at @firstdraft_ and the first show at @prop.gallery but instead we kind of just ranked every type of pizza available in Sydney. We did end up talking about Dan @b_odies reading in the @ichikawaedward room.